Four Words Shouldn't Be This Difficult
by FanofBellaandEdward
Summary: One would think that after defeating Kaguya, everything else would be as easy as finishing a D mission. One would think so, but that is clearly not the case for Sasuke. Uttering four simple words had never been so difficult. New Year's fic; established slash; Sasuke's pov; references to ending; some angst


**Author's note: Happy New Year! I wish you all the best in this new year :)**

 **This oneshot is a gift for SasuNaruGaaraIta; thank you for being so patient, dear. Due to my studies, I had to finish this oneshot in the early morning hours, but who cares about sleep, right? LOL**

 **Warnings: doesn't follow the epilogue (epilogue, what are you talking about?); vague references to the ending of Naruto; Sasuke angst, including some insecurity; foul language; brain vomit.**

 **I did my best to keep Sasuke as in character as possible *crosses fingers***

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto owns it.**

 **Dedicated to: SasuNaruGaaraIta**

 **I hope you'll like it!**

* * *

 **Four Words Shouldn't Be This Difficult**

One would think that after fighting – and defeating, that was the most important part of all – Kaguya, everything else would be as easy as finishing a D mission.

 _One would think._

Clearly that was not the case. At least not for the dark haired shinobi, who was currently agonizing over one small box clenched in his hand. How was it possible for such a small box to inspire so much fear in him? It was just a simple box – but this box had the power to completely change his life; whether that was for the better or worse …

There had been several events in his life that had drastically changed his course. If his family hadn't been killed on the orders of the Konoha council, he might not have become obsessed with the notion of revenge. If Orochimaru hadn't chosen him as his next vessel, he might not have become even more fixated on becoming stronger. If he hadn't chosen to join the Sannin, he wouldn't have been exiled from the village.

If Itachi had told him the truth from the beginning, he wouldn't have fought him and subsequently killed him.

If he hadn't chosen to bring back the previous Hokage to listen to their story, he might have decided to not join Naruto's side in the war.

If he hadn't had that last fight with Naruto, he might have stuck to his plan to put the world under one rule: his own.

If Naruto hadn't fought so hard to bring him back, hadn't gone so far as to be willing to die for the dark haired man, Sasuke might not even be alive at this point.

As it was, he was still alive, all those things _had_ happened and as a result he had spent nearly two years travelling while Naruto had worked together with Kakashi and the rest of the Konoha shinobi to bring some relative peace and order back to the world.

When he returned after two years of near solitude, Naruto had accepted him back into his life as if nothing had ever happened. As if Sasuke had never left. As if years of fighting and nearly killing him had never happened.

In all those years of tumult, of secrets upheaving his life, Naruto had been the one constant thing in his life. No matter what happened, no matter what Sasuke did, the blond Jinchuuriki had always been there, wouldn't let himself be pushed away. He had been there when they were still innocent children; he had been there when they took their first steps as real shinobi; he had been there when Sasuke tore apart their team. He had been there even when the rest of the world had turned themselves against Sasuke, when higher ups were demanding he be killed for his act of treason.

Had been waiting for him when he finally returned to the village. Had accepted him back into his life as if he had been away for merely a few days.

They had joined the ANBU training at the same time – Naruto claiming that there was no way in hell he would go through that training without his best friend – and had graduated at the same time.

More often than not they were put into the same team for missions as well; even the most scornful person able to recognise that they formed the best team, complementing each other well.

Somewhere along the way their feelings for each other had shifted into the romantic realm and when Sasuke had turned twenty-one, Naruto had kissed him – this time deliberately. The last remaining Uchiha could still recall the faint sweet taste of sake coating Naruto's lips when he pressed them clumsily but determined against his. He still remembered how vulnerable sky blue eyes had been when the blond had pulled back, putting up a brave front, even though his hands had trembled and his eyes – his most expressive feature – had clearly reflected the fear of being rejected. Of being pushed away; of not being wanted in return.

Sasuke had quirked an eyebrow and had kissed him back with more insistence – if they were going to kiss, they should at least do it right.

And somehow, with a lot of trial and error and finally really talking about all the shit they had put each other through, they had managed to build up their bond anew: still best friends, but now lovers as well.

Now at twenty-three, Sasuke could honestly say he had never envisioned his life to be this stable; he had never expected to be so happy to return to his house and meet his partner there. He had never expected to feel so _alive_ , period. He had never dared to anticipate that one day he would feel like he belonged somewhere again. Never had he dared to dream after the death of his family that at the end of the day when he returned home, someone would be there to welcome him back. Someone who wanted to see him and who didn't mind waiting for him.

It didn't matter that a lot of people still were wary around him. It didn't matter that Sakura and Kakashi still eyed him distrustfully at times when they thought he wasn't paying attention. He knew he could count on one person to be there for him, to stand by his side and who he could trust to have his back in every situation. It had taken him some time to get used to that knowledge, to get used to the fact that he could entrust his life to his partner and be assured that the other one wouldn't fail him. It had taken some time, but he had got _there_.

After years of being filled with thoughts of revenge, of not giving a crap what happened to him as long as he managed to fulfil his goals, of feeling battered and bruised even after the physical evidence of fights had disappeared, he had finally found peace once more.

He had Naruto to thank for that.

Sasuke didn't think he would ever be able to put into words just how grateful he is for Naruto's presence in his life. His little speech after their final battle had come close, but it wasn't enough to encompass the range of his feelings for the blond.

 _But this …_

Black eyes fixated themselves onto the small, velvet, dark green box clutched into his hand. This box – or more accurately the content of this box – would come close to expressing what he wanted to say to Naruto.

The only problem was that he couldn't find the courage to actually go through with it. The thought of baring himself to Naruto, opening up completely to the blond, had him terrified out of his wits; even worse than the times when he thought that Naruto had come close to death.

How could he possibly …

"Sasuke? I'm home!" Naruto's voice reverberated through the house, punctuated by the front door being kicked close. "I got the groceries like you asked me to. Man, you better be grateful, because I nearly got into a fight with this old lady about your tomato candy. Who the fuck even thought of making tomatoes into a candy anyway?"

Naruto's dark muttering died out when he entered the kitchen.

With one last look at the box, Sasuke shoved it into the back of his drawer, hidden behind three layers of shirts – where it had been waiting for nearly a year already.

Rising up from his spot on the floor, he quickly went to the kitchen to help put away the groceries.

The last time Naruto had put away the groceries without his supervision, he hadn't been able to find anything at all.

* * *

The first time he had gathered the courage to ask Naruto was on what Sasuke considered to be quite an important date: the day they had confessed their feelings to each other. That had taken them an embarrassing long time considering they had been together for nearly seven months by then – kicking the enemies' arses was their forte, not talking about their feelings clearly – but hey, they had managed to get to that point. Sasuke figured it would be somewhat romantic if he posed the question on that day – though Naruto could be quite crude at times, he had also a hidden romantic side and the last Uchiha figured that the blond would appreciate the sentiment. Sasuke couldn't care less about romance, but he was willing to go the extra mile if it made his lover happy (he still might carry a sense of guilt for his behaviour towards Naruto in the past).

Except Sasuke hadn't even been able to get the box out of his pocket, because there had been an attack of rogue shinobi and the both of them had been rather battered and bruised by the time they dragged themselves home. Not exactly the ideal moment to pop the question; even Sasuke realised that.

The second time had been quite a cliché moment: Valentine's day. Sasuke wasn't fond of clichés, but he was willing to work with it to get what he wanted. What was supposed to be a day where they would spend time with each other only turned into one where both had to dodge people trying to hand over Valentine's cards and presents to them, even going as far as cornering them. By the time evening approached and they were safely locked inside their home – some nifty, bordering on illegal, jutsu keeping out the people who couldn't get a damn clue – Sasuke was so aggravated by the harassment (clearly people didn't give two shits about his less than commendable past if they thought they could get into his pants), that he hadn't even thought of picking up the box. Instead they had a quick dinner and spent the remainder of the night wrapped up around and in each other.

The third time had happened on a certain day in April. That particular day had a significant meaning for Sasuke as it was the day he had first seen Naruto when they were still small children. He doubted that the blond would still remember that time, but that particular moment had been engraved in Sasuke's memory as it was the first time that he had been treated normally by someone of his own age and not with awe because of his family name. In fact Naruto hadn't given one damn about who he was and Sasuke had liked that very much. The reason for choosing that particular day was quite embarrassing and still brought a flush to his cheeks when he thought about it. It was quite a childish reason, but the memory of that day had never left him and he had thought it was fitting to ask Naruto to be his for the rest of eternity after the blond had captured his attention – and heart, though he would never admit that verbally – on that day so many years ago.

The third time was a fail as well. Their group – consisting out of him, Naruto, Sakura, Hinata and Shino – had been attacked on their mission the day before he had been planning to pop the question and while he and Naruto had managed to leave the fight relatively unscathed, Sakura and Shino had received the worst brunt, even hovering close to death for the next three days.

Sasuke might be insensitive at times – okay, he could be that a lot, he could admit that – but he wasn't that insensitive to take Naruto's attention away from his friends when the man was so distraught and worrying about his friends. Instead of asking Naruto, he had remained at the blond's side, offering quiet support, while they waited for Sakura and Shino to pull through.

The fourth time was to take place on Sasuke's birthday, coincidentally making it two years since they shared their first official kiss. This time there was no fight that required their attention, but Naruto had got so drunk – how he had managed to do that while being a Jinchuuriki was a mystery Sasuke liked to solve one day – that Sasuke eventually had to drag his drunk, half asleep boyfriend to their house where Naruto promptly fell asleep.

So the fourth time was a bust as well.

By the time Sasuke next managed to gather his courage, Naruto's birthday had arrived and the dark haired man had high hopes of finally popping that damn question and get it over with. Clearly he hadn't counted on Naruto's friends planning a huge party for the blond man which didn't end until deep in the night. Every time Sasuke had managed to get Naruto alone, one of his friends would pop up to congratulate him and subsequently ruin the moment.

Naruto's birthday ended without a ring around his finger.

Now it was nearly New Year and Sasuke still hadn't managed to ask Naruto to marry him. How could it possibly be so difficult to just ask the man whether he wanted to share the rest of his life with him? He had thought of just asking it on a random day, just open the box and ask the question, but every time his hand closed around the box, felt the sharp ridges of it dig into his skin, his throat dried up, closed up and it felt impossible to get the words out there.

How could a question compiled out of four words be so difficult to pose? It wasn't like Naruto made it a secret that he wasn't planning on letting Sasuke go anytime soon ("Bastard, I chased your freaking arse for so many years, if you think I'm letting you go now, you're sourly mistaken!"). Sasuke was practically guaranteed of a positive answer.

And yet …

And yet he couldn't help but think that Naruto's life would be a whole lot easier if he hadn't decided to stick to Sasuke. If he hadn't chosen Sasuke, he wouldn't be looked at with suspicion by the other villagers. If he hadn't chosen Sasuke, he would have a better chance at getting a family, a real family with children. If he hadn't decided to chase after Sasuke, his life might have been a lot less miserable.

It was a fact that Naruto denied wholeheartedly, but which was unfortunately true: Sasuke's presence had made things quite difficult for Naruto at times.

The best thing to do would be to cut ties with Naruto completely, leave him and give him a chance to build up another life, a better life. A chance to be with someone who didn't have the emotional baggage that Sasuke still carried around with him after all those years. A chance to be with someone who was more like Naruto: optimistic, friendly and good overall.

But Sasuke had always been selfish and the thought of letting Naruto go made him clench his hands and had his eyes flare up with both the Sharingan and his newly acquired Rinnegan. The thought of not having Naruto in his life anymore, of losing his personal _sun_ , made his mouth taste like ashes and his whole body shudder in revulsion.

There was simply no way he could let go of Naruto. It would be as impossible as trying to get rid of the sun itself. There was no way it was happening.

Yet the paralyzing fear that Naruto would realise how much better off he would be without Sasuke in his life kept him from asking him to marry him. He thought that if he didn't show Naruto the extent to how much he cared for the blond, how much he loved him and proving those sentiments by asking him to marry him, proving it by _baring himself to the other man_ , then the Jinchuuriki might not be inclined to get rid of him. It was one thing to confess his feelings; it was a whole other thing to bare his soul to the blond, practically offer his heart on a platter and hope to god that the blond wouldn't trample all over it.

It was a completely other thing to make himself vulnerable like that towards Naruto.

Vulnerability often led to death, Sasuke had discovered early on, or at the very least betrayal.

He knew that Naruto would never betray him, but that knowledge still felt foreign at times, as he also realised that he didn't deserve Naruto's unwavering loyalty after everything he had done to him.

Against all odds, though, he had both Naruto's loyalty and love.

If Naruto had been brave enough to stand by his side even when there had been a price attached to his head, then couldn't he be at least brave enough to open himself completely to the blond?

* * *

"I wonder what the new year will bring us," Naruto mused as he tipped back the bottle of sake he had snuck out of the Hokage's office earlier that day. The Hokage tended to have quite some high quality sake stashed into her drawers.

He and Sasuke were sitting on their bed, gazing out of their window at the night sky. Outside, more towards the centre of the village, people were celebrating and anticipating the new year. Sasuke had suggested they join that crowd as he knew that Naruto thrived on being around people, but his lover had declined, stating he wanted to be alone with Sasuke tonight.

"Hopefully less near death experiences," Sasuke retorted dryly and snatched the bottle out of tanned hands, drinking some of it. The liquid ran a fiery trail down his throat.

Naruto barked out a laugh, throwing his head back. "Yeah, can't argue with that, but then again, we're shinobi. Wishing for less near death experiences would be like wishing that the old hag would stop gambling and drinking," he replied, darkly amused.

"Don't let her hear you say that. She might knock you right into Suna," Sasuke remarked idly, swinging one leg over the edge of the bed.

Out of his peripheral vision, he could see Naruto wince.

"I'm not stupid," he groused and then continued rambling about something Kakashi had done during the morning.

Naruto had a tendency to ramble about anything that came up into his mind when he was drinking and he could talk for quite a long time if nobody made him shut up.

Sasuke wasn't that bothered by his chattering anymore; it actually was somewhat soothing. No matter what happened, Naruto would never quit being loud. He might have matured throughout the years, lost some of his childish side, but his core remained the same. Naruto was Naruto, simple as that.

Sasuke couldn't be more grateful for that.

As he gazed at his lover, at the way his blue eyes sparked and glittered as he animatedly told a story, at the way his arms flailed around to stress something he was saying, at the way his tanned skin glowed in the soft moonlight, Sasuke was hit by an overwhelming feeling of love and adoration for this obnoxious loud, blond man. This man who had never once abandoned him; who had remained by his side when everyone else had left him; who had chased after him for years; who had believed in him when Sasuke had lost himself; who had brought him back from the darkness and who had given him a home again. Who had selflessly given up his heart even though Sasuke was less than deserving of it.

Who had shown him that life was more than revenge and mourning.

Who had shown him that life was _worth living_.

He loved this idiot, more than he ever thought was possible. He was more than Sasuke deserved, but that didn't stop him from staying with him.

"Marry me," Sasuke blurted out suddenly, right into the middle of Naruto's rant about Konohamaru's stunt which had nearly landed him into trouble with Iruka.

Cerulean blue eyes blinked bemused. "Wait, what?" Naruto asked startled.

Sasuke swallowed, feeling his face heat up, and repeated in a rough voice, "Marry me, please. I – I need you by my side, for the rest of our lives. I love you. I don't want – I can't let you go. There's no way I can live without you, so please, marry me."

He had completely butchered his speech, fuck. He had written it all out, so that the moment he had finally gathered his balls, everything would be perfect. Instead he had just blurted out his proposal and his speech was reduced to nothing more than a parody of the one he had written. Sure, it conveyed his feelings, somewhat, but it wasn't enough. Naruto deserved so much better and fuck, how had he ever thought that the blond would say yes to him? He had completely screwed this up and …

A pair of soft lips pressed against his own put a sudden stop to his inner panic.

"Yes, Sasuke, I'll marry you," Naruto grinned and kissed him again.

"You, what?" Sasuke asked dazed, not certain whether he had heard the other man correctly.

"Yes, I want to marry you," Naruto repeated patiently, but his eyes sparkled with unshed tears and he cleared his throat. "You better have a nice ring for me to make up for not getting on your knee for me, bastard."

"Heh, of course I have one. I'm not the one constantly forgetting important stuff, idiot," Sasuke smirked, but his hands trembled as relief coursed through him.

Naruto had said yes. _He had said yes!_ He had actually agreed to marry him! Sasuke didn't know what kind of insane luck he had to have this gorgeous, wonderful man saying yes to him – he with all his flaws -, but he wasn't about to question it.

Two minutes later a silver ring with a small sapphire on top of it adorned Naruto's finger. They both stared at the glittering ring; Sasuke's fingers entangled with Naruto's, as he still tried to comprehend the fact that this amazing man had agreed to marry him.

"I think the new year is shaping out to have a pretty great start, don't you think?" Naruto murmured with a soft smile and squeezed Sasuke's fingers.

"Idiot," Sasuke whispered and their mouths met again in a slow, tender kiss.

Somewhere outside, someone shouted, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" as the clock struck twelve.

A happy new year indeed. The start of a new year had never felt this great before.

As it turned out, those four words weren't so difficult to say after all.

* * *

 **AN2: Could this classify as fluff? I don't know .-.**

 **Please let me know what you think of it in a review; should you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me!**

 **Cuddles**

 **Melissa**

 **P.S. For more information about my upcoming and posted stories, please visit my profile.**


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